my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
two words: eviction party
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You have to summon your inner elephant
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
