party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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