how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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