I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
