the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
being pregnant is like rehab
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
