I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
