Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
