we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize