Where is the hickey?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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