I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
