So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize