I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
