So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
