from now on my penis is your penis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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