the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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