I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
