she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize