Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
