Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
