I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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