he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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