Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
