I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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