these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
