theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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