i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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