the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
