I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
