College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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