last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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