Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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