i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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