hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
