You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
