my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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