I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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