so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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