I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
