Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize