the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
