so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
