You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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