OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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