you win again, gameday.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize