I'm gonna have a badass scar
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
tell me about the eggs
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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