Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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