Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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