i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
