watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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