she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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