were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
