your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
