I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
