there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
