Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
